Living The Unbalanced Life

For those of you who thought perfect balance was possible…You’re wrong!

As the husband of one [Jackie], the father of five [Annabelle, Cohen, Drew, Libby, and Joy], and the pastor of NLC Peterborough, you might say I’ve got a lot on my plate. And in fact, you’d be right! There’s not a single day that goes by that I don’t at some point ask myself the question; 

“How am I going to balance it all today?” 

As a matter of fact, I’ve been asking myself that question all the way back since 2008 when Jackie and I first got married. I simply thought that the perfect balance was possible. That it was good. And that it was right. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I do believe there is something good to balance and order. As a matter of fact, it seems to be a Biblical thing. God seems to have the whole balancing act under control. He’s got His priorities straight. However, I believe in our lives we seek to achieve balance where balance may not even be possible or necessary.

Let me explain what I mean.

Sometimes I want everything to fit together in just the perfect way. To be an amazing husband to Jackie, and amazing father to my five kids and a stand-out pastor and leader at NLC, yet, I very nearly ALWAYS fall short in one of those areas. I quite often feel like I’m out of balance. 

But then, I asked myself this question:

“Do I really need equal time for everything?” 

Because I think the struggle to find balance will ultimately swallow us whole if we think that everything we need to do deserves equal time. Most of us don’t actually need more balance or necessarily even more time, we just need more clarity of purpose.

Gary Keller, in his book The One Thing, said it like this: 

“In your effort to attend to all things, everything gets short changed and nothing gets its due.”

That’s a powerful quote. And one that should awaken you to the reality that perfect balance is not possible and therefore not necessary. 

My son Cohen wants to be just like me. I mean, in literally EVERY WAY. He tries to dress like me. He says he’s going to grow up and pastor a Next Level Church in the next town over (talk about competition – that dude is magnetic) just to be close to me. 

And sometimes in the moments where he desperately needs my attention, he acts out: disobeys his mother or throws a fit, or simply doesn’t behave the way he needs to. So, in these times, I recognize the dire need that he and I get some intentional, quiet time together. Sometimes that will be taking him out to breakfast, just the two of us, where we can talk and hang out. 

And during those moments, I put my phone away. I focus my attention on him and him alone. And for that hour to an hour and a half, he is the most important thing in my world. He matters more to me than anyone just in that short period of time. 

And guess what? That’s unbalanced, and yet perfectly content. 

Don’t strive for balance in your life, instead get comfortable with always being in the “un-balancing act” of life. We are always intentionally trading off one task for the other, knowing at any given moment, only one can command our undivided attention. 

Everyone ends up somewhere, but few get there on purpose.” – Pastor Josh

That’s a quote you may have heard our lead pastor, Joshua Gagnon, say on more than one occasion, and it’s a powerful statement to what we are talking about today. 

Make the most of EVERY moment you are in. Don’t worry about balance. Don’t worry about perfection. Just worry about intention. And live the unbalanced life knowing you are getting it right.