I’ve been through a lot in my life. 2020 was no exception and was one of the most difficult years of my life to date. I’m going through divorce, coming out, a few car accidents (not my fault), a nasty breakup, isolation, and feeling completely and utterly alone to name a few major things. My depression and anxiety have been through the roof, I’ve been having really dark and suicidal thoughts again. I’ve almost attempted on a couple different occasions, though I’m still here because a couple friends talked me off of a ledge. I’ve started cutting again and have turned to alcohol and meaningless “extra curricular activities” to try and stop feeling anything. I feel as though God has been ignoring me and does not love nor care for me anymore and as such I have in turn given up on him. I feel abandoned by the majority of my friends and family. Going through a lot of mental and emotional trauma caused at work. I don’t know where to go or who else to turn to and I’m lost. I don’t want to continue down this road but I’m not really sure what else to do and I don’t know what to feel, I’m not sure that I even want to. I want the pain and suffering to just stop.