I grew up in the catholic church and then became a sporadic attendee as an adult but have always had a pretty solid belief in the power of God. Today I received devastating news after having a kidney removed due to cancer that the 5 surrounding lymph nodes they took out also had microscopic evidence of disease, and that the surgery was probably only 30% effective. I prayed so hard for a miracle before receiving the pathology report but it appears my prayers for a miracle are not to be. So I ask for prayers of strength and healing still. I am so afraid of suffering the rest of my days and wish God had taken me on the operating table if it’s his wish for me to go home. I just lost my beautiful mother 3 months ago from cancer also and watching her suffer was so difficult. I’m only 58. I always assumed I’d have a longer time on this earth.